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[From the operation manual for the CI-300 Dot Matrix Line Printer, made
in Japan]:

The excellent output machine of MODEL CI-300 as extraordinary DOT
MATRIX LINE PRINTER, built in two MICRO-PROCESSORs as well as EAROM, is
featured by permitting wonderful co-existence such as; high quality
against low cost, diversified functions with compact design,
flexibility in accessibleness and durability of approx. 2000,000,00
Dot/Head, being sophisticated in mechanism but possibly agile
operating under noises being extremely suppressed etc.

And as a matter of course, the final goal is just simply to help
achieve super shuttle diplomacy between cool data, perhaps earned by
HOST COMPUTER, and warm heart of human being.
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if you entered a room and said Goodbye, it could confuse a lot of
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System/3! System/3!
See how it runs! See how it runs!
Its monitor loses so totally!
It runs all its programs in RPG!
It's made by our favorite monopoly!
System/3!
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MOCK APPLE PIE (No Apples Needed)

Pastry to two crust 9-inch pie 36 RITZ Crackers
2 cups water 2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons cream of tartar 2 tablespoons lemon juice
Grated rind of one lemon Butter or margarine
Cinnamon

Roll out bottom crust of pastry and fit into 9-inch pie plate. Break
RITZ Crackers coarsely into pastry-lined plate. Combine water, sugar
and cream of tartar in saucepan, boil gently for 15 minutes. Add lemon
juice and rind. Cool. Pour this syrup over Crackers, dot generously
with butter or margarine and sprinkle with cinnamon. Cover with top
crust. Trim and flute edges together. Cut slits in top crust to let
steam escape. Bake in a hot oven (425 F) 30 to 35 minutes, until crust
is crisp and golden. Serve warm. Cut into 6 to 8 slices.
-- Found lurking on a Ritz Crackers box
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It was one of those perfect summer days -- the sun was shining, a
breeze was blowing, the birds were singing, and the lawn mower was
broken ...
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A.A.A.A.A.:
An organization for drunks who drive
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Fortune's Real-Life Courtroom Quote #18:

Q: Are you married?
A: No, I'm divorced.
Q: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A: A lot of things I didn't know about.
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Do you think what we're doing is wrong?
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Lowery's Law:
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William Safire's Rules for Writers:

Remember to never split an infinitive. The passive voice should never
be used. Do not put statements in the negative form. Verbs have to
agree with their subjects. Proofread carefully to see if you words
out. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal
of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing. A writer must
not shift your point of view. And don't start a sentence with a
conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a
sentence with.) Don't overuse exclamation marks!! Place pronouns as
close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more
words, to their antecedents. Writing carefully, dangling participles
must be avoided. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a
linking verb is. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing
metaphors. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. Everyone should
be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their
writing. Always pick on the correct idiom. The adverb always follows
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-- Honor'e de Balzac
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raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in
New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for
countries that require a good article, and will take their custom elsewhere
if they don't get it.
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VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
Learn something new today, like how to spell or how to count to
ten without using your fingers. Be careful dressing this
morning. You may be hit by a car later in the day and you
wouldn't want to be taken to the doctor's office in some of
that old underwear you own.
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CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's
problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things
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recipients are Cancer people.
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Excellent day to have a rotten day.
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The temperature of Heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our
authority is Isaiah 30:26, Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be as
the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as
the light of seven days. Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much
radiation as we do from the Sun, and in addition 7*7 (49) times as much
as the Earth does from the Sun, or 50 times in all. The light we
receive from the Moon is one 1/10,000 of the light we receive from the
Sun, so we can ignore that ... The radiation falling on Heaven will
heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to
the heat received by radiation, i.e., Heaven loses 50 times as much
heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for
radiation, (_H/_E)^4 = 50, where _E is the absolute temperature of the
earth (-300K), gives _H as 798K (525C). The exact temperature of Hell
cannot be computed ... [However] Revelations 21:8 says But the
fearful, and unbelieving ... shall have their part in the lake which
burneth with fire and brimstone. A lake of molten brimstone means
that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, 444.6C. We
have, then, that Heaven, at 525C is hotter than Hell at 445C.
-- From Applied Optics vol. 11, A14, 1972
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Most people can't understand how others can blow their noses differently
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-- Turgenev
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HELP! MY TYPEWRITER IS BROKEN!
-- E. E. CUMMINGS
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Collaboration, n.:
A literary partnership based on the false assumption that the
other fellow can spell.
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Has everyone noticed that all the letters of the word database are
typed with the left hand? Now the layout of the QWERTYUIOP typewriter
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You might have mail
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I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.
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-- Gallagher
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Ginsberg's Theorem:
(1) You can't win.
(2) You can't break even.
(3) You can't even quit the game.

Freeman's Commentary on Ginsberg's theorem:
Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem
meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg's
Theorem. To wit:

(1) Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win.
(2) Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break
even.
(3) Mysticism is based on the assumption that you can quit the
game.
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It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood
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Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with
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[From the operation manual for the CI-300 Dot Matrix Line Printer, made
in Japan]:

The excellent output machine of MODEL CI-300 as extraordinary DOT
MATRIX LINE PRINTER, built in two MICRO-PROCESSORs as well as EAROM, is
featured by permitting wonderful co-existence such as; high quality
against low cost, diversified functions with compact design,
flexibility in accessibleness and durability of approx. 2000,000,00
Dot/Head, being sophisticated in mechanism but possibly agile
operating under noises being extremely suppressed etc.

And as a matter of course, the final goal is just simply to help
achieve super shuttle diplomacy between cool data, perhaps earned by
HOST COMPUTER, and warm heart of human being.
Payday Loan http://www.epaycash.com